The art of surrender
The idea of surrender within yoga philosophy requires a willingness to consider the idea of a God-like presence in our world. Surrender means to admit that we are not in total control of our lives, and to acknowledge our vulnerability and fragility.
Unsurprising then that surrender is not that popular with the Western mind and the value placed on the individual ego in our society. Even in yoga, huge emphasis can be put onto discipline and mastery of physical movements, and very little attention given to the philosophical principles which require our humility and honesty. However, when we can understand that surrendering is not a weakness or sign of defeat, but actually allows us to put down the armour and vanity, then we can recognise that surrender can support us in living a more heart-full life. By allowing our own vulnerability, we allow others theirs, and this can make us more compassionate and more courageous.
Reacting vs responding
Over the years as both teacher and student I have explored different yogic techniques to reduce stress and aid relaxation, and tried many different tools to find integration and resolution. In recent months I have noticed one narrative in the wellness world becoming louder, that of choosing to respond and not react.
Yoga certainly can help us learn to respond. Yoga is a tool of regulation. We learn to regulate our breath, we can learn to both tense and relax our bodies, we can even learn to influence the amygdala, a crucial part of the nervous system which triggers the fight-flight response whenever we perceive danger.
Whilst yoga helps us learn to regulate and respond, and therefore make us more aware of our reactions and triggers, does this automatically mean we can always choose how to respond? Or a convenient social media meme that feeds the illusion of total control and continues to ignore yogic teachings of surrender?
The trauma response
Speaking from personal experience, I can say that yoga has increased my self-awareness. I have become better at recognising tension in my body, at noticing changes in my breath, and becoming more observant of the stories in my mind. Does this mean I no longer get stressed, am always in a state of Zen, and can laugh off my experiences of trauma? Definitely not. Whilst I may be aware that I have been triggered, I still get triggered. And this is the important bit:
Awareness doesn’t lead to control. In fact, awareness leads to surrender.
If we use our increased awareness gained through yoga to dictate to our bodies and minds, if we use yoga as force, rather than another tool to help us find our way to wholeness and healing, then we are misusing the power of yoga. If we are disconnected from our bodies, unable to listen to our signals of when to rest, when to move, when to eat, when to sleep, even when to go to the toilet instead of ignoring the urge so we can send one final email, then yoga is a path to reconnection. Reconnection means feeling, where we may have once felt numb. And this can mean we become more sensitive to our reactions to stress - but also more aware. Awareness teaches us that we are not in total control - but it also allows us to recognise when we do have elements of control, i.e. how we can respond to our emotional, mental and physical fluctuations.
Responding may involve reflecting on how we got angry or frightened after an event; it doesn’t necessarily mean we no longer react in an angry or frightened way when under stress. When we experience trauma and are unable to process it, our brains begin to react to situations differently. The classic example is of a war veteran who is triggered by the backfiring of a car. In that situation, should we expect that war veteran to be able to respond, or do we appreciate that in that moment of being triggered, they are unable to respond and are reacting to a past event which is still alive in their minds and bodies?
In that situation, one hopes we would find compassion and understanding for that veteran, rather than presuming they “should” be able to “get over it”. We may not be a war veteran ourselves, but we may have our own experiences of traumatic events which have lingered with us into our present day reality. A practice like yoga could be one tool that helps us to understand when we are being triggered, and find the courage to support ourselves in our healing journey.
Our understanding of science, of the nervous system and fight-or-flight can help us remember that there are times when we have been triggered, when we feel under stress or threat, and that during these times we are reacting from the limbic, emotional brain. Awareness can teach us that during those times we are reacting, not responding, and that there are neurological reasons for this. This perhaps helps to deepen our understanding of our vulnerability, and make it easier for us to ask for help.
The art of surrender
In the Christian Serenity Prayer, it states “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”. This to me is a wonderful way of thinking about surrender.
Healing and the journey to wholeness is slow. Be kind. Be compassionate. Recognise the struggle in yourself or those around you. And don’t turn yoga into a weapon to be thrown at people like some sort of social media hastag - “just do more yoga” is sometimes not helpful.
The art of surrender involves acknowledging when we have control and when we don’t. It involves an awareness of a life force that is beyond our own ego identity, and the humility to accept our vulnerabilities, fragilities and human-ness. Yoga asana can help us to embody these qualities and yoga philosophy can enrich our appreciation of the tapestry of yoga. By practicing presence, we can increase our self-understanding so that we learn when we are reacting, when we are responding, and recognise with compassion that sometimes, in that moment, we aren’t always making a conscious choice but coming from a more instinctive and emotional part of our brain.
Yoga develops our awareness of ourselves. We start to identify our habitual thought patterns and beliefs, we learn about our personal triggers and resistances, and with time and support (plus compassion and patience) we can begin to respond.
For yoga to become a true resource to you, I encourage you to bring more reflection and contemplation to your practice, and indeed to your life and your relationships. And remember: you are always doing the best that you can.